How To Deal With The “Not Necessarily”

The Broken Until Now Story

This is my personal story of my “not necessarily” event I faced in my life.

Have you ever had a before and after event?

Before the “event”, my life looked like this, and after the “event” my heart felt like this? That moment for me was when I ended a long-term relationship. I texted my then boyfriend of five years, and asked him if he still wanted to marry me.

As I looked at my phone with his response, my heart sank. All I could see was “not necessarily”.

I couldn’t tell you what was before or after the “not necessarily” part of the text, but I knew then it was over.

In the months that followed, I had many conversations with Jesus and imagined myself talking to him.

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The one conversation went like this: I imagined myself on a hiking trail and I would see Jesus walking by on the smooth, black, covered pavement. “Jesus, wait for me,” I yelled.  In the moment, he looked back at me and a smile appeared on his face. I then quickly jogged up to him and said, “Jesus, do you have time to talk”? 

Jesus replied, “I always have time for you.”

I then looked at him and said, “Great, let’s walk and talk. I need a minute, well actually, you know how I am, I need a few hours.”

He then chuckled and said, “I have all the time in the world for you.”  

“Why didn’t he want to get married? I needed him,” I said.

Jesus stopped walking and turned to me and said, “No, you need me.”

“But Jesus,” I said, and then I paused and said nothing else. Jesus began to walk, and I quickly followed behind. I then mustered up the courage to ask Jesus, “Why did you take him away?”

Jesus looked at me and said, “his response of “not necessarily” isn’t good enough for you or any of my children.”

“Now what am I going to do?” I asked.

Jesus replied, “Live out your purpose.” “Write! Do what I called you to do.”

And with that, I was satisfied.

Since that conversation with Jesus, I realized that walking away from the “not necessarily” doesn’t mean it didn’t matter.

It means you matter more to Jesus and your purpose is way bigger than any “not necessarily” you face in your life.

If you are looking for journals to help you process your “not necessarily” we have the perfect journals for you in our resource page.

If you want to hear more from Broken Until Now, subscribe to the blog or follow us on Instagram at @brokenuntilnow.


Ashley Marie

Here are a few other blog post for you to explore:

4 Ways To Embrace The What Is In Your Life

6 Simple Ways To Start Loving Yourself

3 Tips To Conquer The Fear Of Dating Again

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