You trusted you fought, you did everything right, and now, here you sit with your heart barely hanging on by a thread.
You didn’t see the signs, because in your eyes, he was the one. Your “one true love,” as the films like to say. You believed that your love could conquer all!
Until it ended!
You fell for a toad, and girl, I have been there. In fact, I kissed lots of toads and fell for even more. But one toad that sticks out is Mr. A.
I spent years of my life with Mr. A only to realize that the person I thought he was, was the person I wished he could be.
But here I sit, almost 5 years out from the relationship that I thought ruined me, happier, joyful, and so grateful that the relationship didn’t work out!
I’m sure if you’ve read this far, you want to know how I did it. How did I mend my once-broken heart?
Here are 3 tips to heal your broken heart from kissing a toad!
Well, first, I didn’t heal it myself. God healed me.
Now if anyone reads this that isn’t a Christian, just hear me out on this one, okay? Did I take the steps to heal? Yes. But did God place those things in my path? YES!
So, how did I heal then?
1. Invest In Yourself
The first thing I did was invest in myself. I don’t want to give a number of months that you shouldn’t date because each person is different, but I spent time alone and didn’t date.
I read books, and one that really stood out to me was a wonderful book called The Single Woman by Mandy Hale. Click Here for book. I took a class called “Love Your Single Life” by Stephanie May Wilson. If interested in the course, click here.
These two resources right here were game changers!
They allowed me to realize it’s a gift to be single, and even if you are the old lady with millions of cats (or in my case, dogs), that’s okay, too! The class taught me that your life doesn’t just start when you’re married. It’s already started, and it’s time to go live it.
2. Take Time To Grieve
I also did what I consider to be the most helpful thing: I took time to grieve and found an amazing Christian therapist.
During the session, we did an exercise where we made three sections on a whiteboard. The first section was for the characteristics and traits I wanted in a person. The second section was for the characteristics or events with Mr. A that maybe didn’t match what I wanted. And the final section was the truth section. Was he or wasn’t he, based on events and characteristics, the person I wanted? We made a list of five things for each section. Below was my list.
If you’re like me, you need to see things visually sometimes. That night, this exercise changed my whole perspective on this relationship! It made me realize that he wasn’t my person, and that sometimes we forget about the crap we have gone through.
Because that exercise was so powerful in my life, I wanted to make my own version for you guys. My therapist did give consent for this by the way.
3. Remove Him From Your Life
The last thing I did, although it might sound childish, was remove him from my life, off social media and off the wall, literally. What’s the old saying, out of sight, out of mind? Well, I Marie Kondo-ed my house. If it didn’t spark joy, it had to go. Pictures went and anything that reminded me of him!
So, what happens if you can’t remove him from your life? You have kids together, you guys go to the same church, you might even be neighbors….WELL, you can still move on and begin to heal.
You have to make sure your boundaries are firm. No texting back and forth. (I did this from time to time, and it was NOT A GOOD IDEA.) Give yourself time to breathe. If you have kids, only discuss what needs to be discussed.
I know this is a long process, and ending a relationship is hard, but the closing of one chapter means another one is about to be opened. Sometimes you just have to turn the page. You can heal, my friend. You can mend that broken heart of yours, and you will never want to kiss that toad ever again!
To celebrate my anniversary of being single, I decided to do a single photoshoot (I highly recommend this!). I put on a cute dress and had a blast. It will stay as a reminder for me that I survived after kissing a toad, and you will survive too! You are worthy of God’s best, and that toad you loved, is just that: a toad!
Here is a photo from the shoot. Again, highly recommend it.
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