I’ve struggled with confidence throughout my whole life, especially in my 20’s. Confidence is so much more than our appearance. It’s the way we see and believe in ourselves. According to Oxford Reference, confidence is a belief and an assurance in one’s own abilities (self-confidence) or the abilities of another. If you are struggling with confidence or you want to start to believe in yourself more, this blog post is for you.
My Confidence Backstory
“If you want to go to college, you need to learn to spell it first,” she laughed.
Humiliated, I walked to my room with my assignment from school, feeling crushed and defeated. I vowed that day I would show my guardian how much she hurt me.
And then one day came a little acceptance letter from a local community college. Sitting in my car, I looked at the acceptance letter and decided to call my old guardian.
I quickly dialed her number and anxiously waited for her to pick up, and when I heard hello, all I could say was “C-O-L-L-E-G-E,” and then I hung up.
I didn’t care what she had to say after that or if she even understood; all I knew was that I was going to college, and that day in the kitchen affected my confidence more than she could ever know.
Growing up, I knew I was different.
I actually have a learning disability, and my disability is in writing. Instead of writing college for my assignment, I wrote the word collage.
But I didn’t gain confidence after that phone call, and I certainly didn’t have it as I walked to my room after being laughed at.
Confidence is something that grows. Something that takes time.
Here are a few steps to help you grow your confidence.
Step 1: Know Your Strengths
Growing your confidence is also knowing your strengths and tapping into them.
Maybe your strength is your determination, your ability to comfort others in times of need, or your artwork that gives insight into a feeling for someone else.
Whatever your strength is, tap into it and use it!
If you struggle to know your strengths, think about what your friends, peers, or people you know say you are good at. Then, tap into those things!
Step 2: Spend Time With People Who Believe In You
Spend time with people who believe in you and support you. That is the biggest boost for self-confidence.
The people you spend time with don’t always have to be your family or people you know well.
If you don’t feel like you have people in your circle who believe in you, try social media. Social media can cheer you on. There is nothing like the power of Instagram friends!
Step 3: Celebrate Your Wins
Celebrate your wins regardless of how small they may seem. This will allow you to see progress and start believing in yourself, AKA having confidence.
If you need your own C-O-L-L-E-G-E moment, you do it, girl.
It’s not my proudest moment in the world, but looking back, it was great! lol
Step 4: Step Out & Go For It
To grow our confidence, try stepping out and going for it. I previously wrote a blog post about opening up my blog as a business. That was a real “going for it” moment for me!
I will link it here for you to read.
Sometimes, we have to step out and go for it. We must try it, see what happens, and allow God to bless our efforts.
Step 5: Positive Self-Talk
I sound like a broken record, but positive self-talk really does help with confidence.
Even if that means you write positive affirmations on your bathroom mirror.
Positive self-talk helps with having a positive mind and challenging the perspective that you believe about yourself or others have told you.
Conclusion About Confidence
Confidence is something that really is a learned skill, especially if you had trauma that has affected your confidence. You may need your own C-O-L-L-E-G-E moment, but celebrating your wins, stepping out and going for it, and practicing positive self-talk are all great ways to help you grow your confidence.
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Blessings,
Ashley Marie
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