*Trigger warning, this story contains descriptions of abuse and healing from sexual abuse trauma. Keeping reading for my personal story and learn steps to healing from sexual abuse.
Healing from sexual abuse trauma is possible, but having a trained professional in the area sexual abuse trauma is key. I realized this the first time I tried to speak about this to a therapist.
Dealing With Childhood Trauma in Adulthood
As I wiped away my tears, I thought, “I have to report it. I have to make sure this doesn’t happen to anyone else. I have to fight for the little girl that I used to be, the little girl that still lives inside of me.”
How Does Childhood Sexual Abuse Impact Adulthood?
Childhood sexual abuse has impacted my relationships, my sense of self and how I interact with people.
I thought for years, I had to do things I didn’t want to do in relationships. I thought it was normal to be treated certain ways and didn’t know why I would become defensive when I felt threatened.
It has caused me to not trust people, especially men and made me question people’s motivates even when they were being genuine.
Childhood sexual abuse does impact adulthood, but there are ways to start healing. Read below for more helpful tips.
Healing
Know that healing from sexual abuse trauma not happen overnight and it’s a process.
There are words and different triggers I still have that I have learned to cope with, but it continues to be a process.
I still struggle with bad days and if you do too, you are not alone.
Counseling/Medication
Counseling is a great resource, and there are specialized counselors available. More information can be found at RAINN.ORG or you can call 1-800-656-4673.
Medication is not a bad thing. There is nothing to be ashamed of should you need medication.
Have a Support System
Having one or two people to talk to can be helpful. It’s especially helpful if they also know what it’s like to be dealing with childhood trauma in adulthood.
I have a friend, we will call her Ms. R, that I speak to regularly about triggers and when I’m having hard days.
God Does Not Condone Abuse
I feel like this needs to be said. I have heard from people that churches have made them apologize for their abuse “because of their role in it.” NO! That is not God nor should anyone make you apologize.
Secondly, it was not God’s will. I have heard this and it could not be further from the truth. Abuse is not from God. It’s demonic.
As a Christian, when I hear these things, it really hurts my spirit because that’s not right and I am so sorry if you have been told this while healing from sexual abuse trauma.
Prayer
Praying really changes things. Allowing God into your healing process can be really helpful.
I was asked once, “Where was God back then?” I responded, “He was there,” but now I see him. I see him walking me out of my abuse. I see him walking me out of the courtroom that April day.
The day of the sentencing hearing I heard a song on the radio, In The Eye Of The Storm by
Ryan Stevenson. I linked it below for you to listen to.
Part of the lyrics of Eye Of Storm say, “Find your peace in Jesus’ name.” Your dreams and hopes are not over because of things that have happened to you, been said to you, or been done to you. You are not meant to bear the events that happened to you alone.
There is help available for childhood sexual abuse recovery.
You are more than any event that has happened to you. You are a survivor.
If you’re working on healing from sexual abuse trauma, it’s important to know you’re not alone. I know this post was a heavy one, so if you need to reach out or private message me, please feel free to do so.
For more information about healing from sexual abuse, explore this other post:
[…] I know this because I’ve been there. I’ve gone through the journey of healing from the trauma of my own abuse all while trying to be an advocate for others. If you want to hear my story of reporting my abuse as an adult, click here. […]
[…] am I doing?” If you want to read my story, click here. (Trigger warning: The post contains abuse.)In those moments, we don’t feel brave or fearless. We […]