“It’s just bad luck,” I heard my gynecologist say.
I knew for years something was wrong, even when doctor’s told me to “just take birth control,” or my personal favorite, “you just need to poop.” I just couldn’t prove it until I found the key that unlocked it all. I received my birth records.
In a surgical report, they noted concerns for my uterus.
Fertility issues aren’t “bad luck,” and in reality, 1 in 8 couples struggle with fertility issues. If you’re trying to understand the world of infertility, learn how to deal with fertility issues, and want Godly support, read on.
How Infertility Feels
Can we say, “it’s just bad luck” shouldn’t be on the page for anyone to say to someone with fertility issues, let alone a doctor to a patient.
I’m sure if you are reading this, you probably have your own experience with doctors that were not up to par, or maybe you’ve just been diagnosed with infertility, and the words they used stung deeper than you ever thought possible.
If you’re a Bible-believing Christian, you know nowhere in Scripture does it say infertility was because of “bad luck.” Fertility issues are not bad luck! They aren’t a form of punishment and aren’t because God wants bad things for you!
After talking to a sweet friend at church, I was connected to a wonderful Christian doctor in North Carolina that took my concerns seriously. Off to North Carolina I went for my medical procedure.
After my surgery, I was diagnosed with a unicornuate uterus. This condition is so rare that only 0.4% of the population has it. To put it simply, I’m missing half of my uterus and I only have one fallopian tube and one ovary. I never thought I would have to learn how to deal with fertility issues, let alone having them in the first place.
So, for anyone that has a unicornuate uterus, hi, you belong here. Or anyone struggling with fertility issues, hi you also belong here!
I never expected to be walking this journey, or being single as a pringle as I do it, which definitely puts another layer on things.
But, I also never realized there were so many people struggling in silence, feeling like they have to carry such a heavy burden alone.
GOD did not design us to carry this alone.
Here are 3 resources on how to deal with fertility issues so you are not walking on this journey alone.
Support Groups for Fertility Issues
In today’s world, the wonderful community on of social media can get you support in the matter of seconds with just a few clicks. Below are a few groups to join based on fertility support:
- Infertile Myrtle is a Facebook Group for infertility support.
If you want to join this group, message me and I will send the link to you.
- Waiting In Hope has in-person support groups and you can also connect with them via zoom.
They can be found at www.waitinginhopeinfertility.com.
Employer-Based Fertility Benefits
If you hear the word infertility, you may think, “There goes my life savings.” Now, fertility issues can be costly, but there are employers that are willing to assist with benefits if your employer does not cover any or part of the cost of fertility treatments.
Here are employers that offer fertility benefits:
- Tractor Supply
If you’re not sure if your employer or insurance covers fertility treatments, take the time to research and ask questions. You may be surprised what options are offered to you.
Emotional Support for Infertility
Talk to a therapist
When I was in North Carolina I met with my therapist via telehealth and I was crying before she even got on the call. I remember telling her sarcastically, “I’m such a catch” regarding my dating life because I now have fertility issues to add to my qualities.
On a serious note, I know I am a catch, and so are you! But to have someone to process the infertility with is so important for you and your mental health.
Find healthy community support
I have multiple friends who have fertility issues, but I didn’t know it until I shared mine. It opens up a space for vulnerability, and gosh it makes the journey not so lonely.
They provide you support when you need it and help pick you up when you are down.
Take on some hobbies and live your life
I continue with my life. I don’t allow my fertility issues to stop me. I continue to sleep, eat, enjoy my life, and do gymnastics.
I also started running, and boy did I dislike it at first and well during the middle and ending as well. But, I do love the feeling of accomplishment that I sometimes feel, and at times I even run a little more than I thought I would. Recently, I ran 5 miles!
During my trip to North Carolina I finished Mandy Hale’s new book, Turn Towards the Sun: Releasing What If and Embracing What Is. Amazing book, by the way!
The book talks about embracing the what is instead of the what ifs.
You could continue the what ifs in your life, “What if I found out sooner,” “What if we tried to get pregnant sooner,” “What if I was younger,” “What if I knew about my condition sooner,” etc.
Instead of living in the what ifs, embrace the what is. What is is that you know what is going on.
You have answers. You may not have a plan, but you’re searching for one! You have a heavenly father who cares for you and wants the best for you. He wants to meet you in your sorrow, in your pain, and in your hurt.
The infertility journey can be a long one, one with many obstacles and many unknowns, but fertility issues don’t have to be carried alone. You can learn how to deal with fertility issues and continue to trust the one who carries you.
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